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Drone Alone/Transcript
This is a complete transcript of the episode Drone Alone. Transcript Tasha: Oh, this is so exciting! I have never been to Australia before. Eddy: Hey, maybe you'll like it so much you won't want to come back! Tasha: Donald, honey, do you have the plane tickets? Donald: (laughs) Honey, we're taking my fully automated private jet. (scoffs) Plane tickets. Why don't we just slap on a bunch of stamps and mail ourselves there. (laughs) Tasha: Private jet. That works. Tasha & Leo: Score! Donald: Okay, Leo, this is your chance to prove you're responsible enough to stay at home without us. Leo: Me? What about them? Donald: They were designed to go on missions and save the world. You were designed to break stuff. Leo: Don't worry, I know the rules-- no touchy-touchy your stuffy-stuffy. Donald: Leo, I'm serious. There's millions of dollars' worth of technology here. So no goof-ups, no explosions, no fires-- You know what? I'm not going. I'm not going. Tasha: Donald, Leo will be responsible. He is a big boy. Sweetie, I left your flame-retardant undies on the dresser. Bree: Mr. Davenport, Leo will be fine. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Chase: Funny you should ask. I've made an actuary chart which covers every possible catastrophe. You have an 82% chance of coming back to a perfectly normal house. Happy travels. Tasha: Don't worry! Eddy is here to monitor every room in the house. He is like a virtual baby-sitter. Eddy: Yeah, and I virtually care about your kids. Leo: Big D, I got this. No explosions, no goof-ups, no fires, no floods-- Donald: Wait. I didn't think about floods. Tasha: Donald, let's go!!! (all saying goodbyes) Donald: Okay, be careful. There's an inflatable raft in the closet. Chase: All right, bye. Leo: Goodbye! Go! Adam: Whoo-hoo! Party in the lab! Bree: Whoo! Leo: Did you not hear what Davenport just said? We're supposed to be responsible. Adam: Oh, right. I'll be responsible for the snacks. Leo, you're responsible for blowing up that raft! Whoo-hoo! Party in the lab! Chase: Yeah!!! Leo: And he's worried about me? . . . Bree: Australia looks interesting. But I'd really like to check out New York. Chase: Yeah, well, maybe someday when we're older-- Or now. And what are you up to? Adam: I ''am combining foods. Butterscotch pudding and tomatoes is probably a no, ''but being home alone and doing whatever I want is a huge yes, so I'm gonna do it anyway! Oh, that is bad. Leo: Chase, what are you doing at Davenport's computer? Chase: I'm pulling a prank on him. The next time he checks his bank account, it's gonna be in euros! Bam! Same value, but still funny, right? Leo: No. Chase: No, no-- Leo: Give it to me. Where were you? Bree: Well, I was headed to New York City, but I got stuck in Jersey. Check out my bling. Boom! How's ya like them sparklers? Adam: Bree, look what you did! You got butterscotch pudding all over my broccoli! What a delicious mistake! Bree: Aw, I'm sorry, Adam. I meant to get it on your face! Ho ho! Boom I'm throwin' puddin' here! Adam: Oh, look! Chase and pudding! I hadn't thought of that combo! Chase: Bree, you are goin' down. Bree: Bring it! Adam, hold my hoops! Leo: Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop! I really need this weekend to go well for me. Chase: Chill out, Leo. What's the big deal? We're just having a little fun. Leo: I'm not. If Davenport trusts me to stay home alone, then next he'll give me a project in the lab, and then he'll let me go on a mission with you. Don't you want me to go on missions with you? Chase: Ehh. Adam: I guess. Bree: Not so much. Leo: Okay, that's it. No more crazy foods, no more pranking Davenport, and no more breaking your curfew to go to New York. Bree: Jersey! Whatever. ''This guy, what a nudge. '''Leo': Just get in your capsules and go to sleep. I'll turn on a nightlight for you. ( whirring ) Adam: Ohhh! Ew! It feels like my stomach just popped! Can I leave my door open a crack? Chase & Bree: No. Adam: All right, but it might blow open by itself. . . . Tasha: That sunset was so beautiful. Donald: Yeah. Everything looks better out the window of your own private jet. You know, if I wasn't so accomplished, I'd probably sound like a jerk. Tasha: Oh, no, honey. You do sound like a jerk. Donald: Oh, no. I think I forgot to unplug the LEMP. I better call home. Tasha: You are just making up words so that you can check on the kids. "The LEMP?" Where's that, on the toble next to the bid? Donald: The LEMP is a localized electromagnetic pulse. I think I left it on the console in the lab. Tasha: Don't you mean "the leb?" ( laughs ) Donald: It's not funny. If one of those kids turns it on, it could fry every electrical circuit in the whole house. Tasha: It's late. Don't call and wake them up. Besides, if anything goes wrong, Eddy will call us. (beep) Eddy: Unless I stowed away on your tablet. I stowed away on your tablet! I'm on vay-cay! Let's party! Can I get a "whoop whoop"? . . . ( LEMP beeping ) ( whirring ) ( alarm wailing ) ( whimpering ) . . . ( whistling carefree tune ) Leo: Good morn-- Aaahh! Chase: Leo? Leo? Is that you? Leo: What happened?! All we did was go to sleep! Chase: Leo, something happened to my vision. I can only see pixels. I'm okay. Adam: Buddy up what's. Leo: He sounds different. Chase: Yeah, that's 'cause he can only speak backwards. It was fun for about the first five minutes-- Now I just want to rip his head off. Leo: Wait. Wait, where's Bree? And if you say she went to Paris for crepes, I'm gonna lose it! Chase: I don't know where she is. Something woke us up in the middle of the night, she started bouncing around the room like a pinball, and I haven't seen her since. I haven't seen anything since. Leo: I'm gonna-- All right. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna call her and I'm gonna get her back. Call Bree. ( computer dials ) Leo: Bree! No! Please don't tell me you've gone back in time. Bree: No! I just woke up and started running. The next thing I knew, I was in the middle of the desert, my feet were smoking, and my navigation system was all goofed up. My phone's about to die! What am I gonna do... Leo: Bree! Bree! Adam: Oh-uh. Chase: Guys, a little help here, please. Leo: All right, and... There you go, buddy. Chase: Uhhhh! Adam: Ha ha ha ha! . . . Donald: The kids should be up by now. And if they're not, it'll be my distinct pleasure to wake them up. . . . ( loud beeping ) Leo: What the heck is that?! Chase: Well, it's either Mr. Davenport's radon gas alarm, or it's his emergency phone. And being that none of us have passed out yet, it's his emergency phone!!! ( loud beeping ) Leo: Oh-- No-- Hey. Hey. Davenport Industries, home of the little man's big dreams. Leo speaking. How may I help you? Donald: Leo! What's going on? Leo: Not a thing. Watching cartoons, eating cereal. You know, Saturday morning things. Adam: Cartoons watch want to I! Donald: Was that Adam? Let me talk to him. Leo: Um... no, it's the TV. I'm watching Captain Backwards. ''He saves the day in the beginning and... does all the boring stuff at the end. It's a terrible show. I don't know why I watch it. '''Donald': What about Bree? Is she around? Leo: No. You know girls. She's knee-deep in makeup and unicorns. (whispers) What am I saying?! Donald: Look, Leo, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to unplug the LEMP on the console. Tasha: ( snickering ) "LEMP." Leo: Oh. You mean... the nightlight? Donald: It's not a nightlight. It's a localized electromagnetic pulse. Please tell me you did not turn it on. ( LEMP humming ) Leo: No. ( humming stops ) Leo: No, I did not. Um... I should go. Tell my mommy I love her. Donald: I will. Okay. Tasha: What did he say? Donald: He said, "tell my mommy I love her." Tasha: He said "mommy"? He's hiding something. Turn this plane around. Turn this plane around!!! Leo! We are coming home right now! ( disconnects ) Leo: They're coming home right now. Adam: What?! Chase: "Tell my mommy I love her"? Leo: I'm sorry. When I freak out, I talk baby talk. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go upstairs to take a night-night with my binky. . . . Chase: Leo, how could you turn on the LEMP?! It's a giant glitch machine! That's what goofed us all up! Leo: Ohhhh. So this is one of those things that Davenport talks about we're not supposed to touch? Good to know... Good to know. Chase: Look, we have to fix this before they get home. I'll locate Bree's signal and send her the coordinates so she can find her way back. Leo: I thought you couldn't see. Chase: Oh, Leo. Genius has no boundaries. Leo: Well, it's good to see that your lack of sight hasn't taken away from your sense of superiority. ( beeping ) Leo: Oh, good, it's flashing "Signal received." But what are we gonna do about you guys? Chase: Well, Mr. Davenport did install an emergency video file on my internal hard drive. But we're only supposed to watch it in an emergency. Adam: Oh, up wake! Emergency it is this! ( warbly beeping ) Donald: So if you're watching this, I must have gone to that big hard drive in the sky. How could this have happened?! I was so young! ( crying ) Look at me! I was so beautiful and talented and smart... this is awful! Chase: Right about now I'm sort of glad I can't see this. Leo: Is that really what he wore to say his final farewell? Slap on a suit, dude! You're on a stairway to heaven! Donald: Now, you're probably in crisis, so first things first. If you didn't have time to have me cryogenically frozen, just chuck me in the fridge for now, it'll have to do. Leo: Don't you let him near my cold cuts! Donald: Oh, and, uh, I would like you to play my super funeral mix at my service. Also, money is no object, so I'd like a super-huge blow-out, you know, something befitting a man as awesome as I... was. I'm sorry. You guys must miss me so much! Leo: Is there a fast-forward? Chase: Yeah. There are different chapters. Leo: Okay, searching, searching, searching... Stop! There it is. "Someone Didn't LISTEN and Turned on the LEMP." Chase: Well, that's eerily specific. Donald: Get into the middle capsule with bare feet and press your hands against the sides of the cylinder. This connects the circuit, initiates a reboot, and will repair all damage. Chase: Okay. Once I restore my settings, we can get things back to normal before Tasha and Davenport get home. And they'll never know how thoroughly and completely you messed up. ( video powers down ) ( loud humming ) ( whooshing ) Leo: So? Chase: Where am I? Who are you people?! Leo: Oh, great! Chase: Ha! Just kidding. You're next. Adam: Luck me wish. Chase: If he's gonna take his shoes off, we might want to take a step back. ( humming, whooshing ) Adam: Whoo! I think I'm okay. Wait, my voice isn't coming out of my butt, is it? Chase: And he's back. . . . Leo: Okay, everything's cleaned up. Now all we need is Bree. Chase: No problem. I'm tracking her right now. According to this, she should be here any minute. Bree: That took forever. My phone died, and I had to buy a map-- a paper map. ''I mean, do you know how hard it is to fold this thing up? '''Chase': A map? Didn't you get the coordinates I sent you? Bree: What coordinates? I didn't get any coordinates. Adam: Wait. If Bree's here, then what are you tracking? ( rapid beeping ) Chase: I don't know. It's probably just a bird. ( beeping faster ) Chase: Or not. Guys, this is one of Mr. Davenport's drones. I must have sent it the coordinates instead of Bree! Leo: Oh, yeah. A giant flying piece of metal and a teenage girl-- I see how you can get that messed up. Chase: I messed it up because my vision was impaired-- by you, Mr. Touchy-Stuffy Mommy-Misser. Leo: Chase, let's not play the blame game. Chase: Guys, this drone controls all of Mr. Davenport's GPS technology, including the plane that he's flying on right now. Leo: What?! Why would he keep the command center for all of his technology flying around in the sky? Chase: Probably because you're down here. . . . Tasha: What was I thinking? I knew Leo wasn't ready to be left home alone. How could I let you talk me into this? Donald: You talked me into this! Tasha: Donald, let's not play the blame game. Donald: This is so weird. I programmed the jet to take us home, but it's not reading the coordinates from my drone. Tasha: I'm sorry. Your what? Donald: I have an orbiting drone that coordinates all of my-- Eddy: Don't bother, Donny! She'll never be one of us! She's dial-up in a 4G world. Tasha: Are you telling me that we are just randomly flying around right now, no flight plan, no pilot?! Eddy: Gee, Tasha, this sounds pretty serious! You should probably jump out. Donald: Unless one of my other computers takes the controls and lands this jet for me. Tasha: Wait. He's gonna fly the plane for us? You have got to be kidding me! Eddy: Buckle up, sugar. It's gonna be a bumpy ride! Tasha: Eddy!!! . . . Bree: All right, that's the last of the broken glass. Chase: And the drone is fixed. Adam: Go ahead, Chase, hop in. Ha ha! That's a joke, 'cause you're so tiny. ( laughing ) Chase: Yet my brain is still twice the size of yours. Adam: Oh, yeah? Well... I-I-- Chase: Mm-hmm? Adam: Yeah, you got me. Bree: What about the window? Leo: We'll deal with that later. Let's focus on getting Adam and the drone outside so we can launch it off the roof and back into the sky. They're walking up the driveway! They are walking up the driveway!!! Eddy: Well, Tasha, looks like the stupid computer got you home safe! Guess it's time to go back into the wall. Tasha: Oh! Here, let me help. Eddy: Aaah! Donald: Well, it certainly has been a joy traveling with you two. Eddy: You are on the list, cupcake! Tasha: Okay!!! Donald: Hey, what do you know? The house is in one piece. Leo: Welcome home, mommy. Tasha: Okay... What are you guys up to? Bree: Just chillin'. Ya know. We didn't do anything. Nothing happened. Nothing at all. You two-- always so suspicious. Donald: Hmm. I don't smell any fires... and no one's in a full body cast. Wait-- where's Adam? Chase: Adam? Uh, Adam is... Adam: Right here warming up your welcome home hugs. Bring it in, peoples! Ooh! Okay. Donald: Well, I guess we overreacted. Tasha: Right. I will go reschedule our trip to Australia. This time on a big plane with an actual pilot. ( beeping ) Tasha: What is that? ( crashing ) Adam: By the way, we forgot to reset the coordinates. Donald: Reset the coordinates?! It looks like somebody touched my stuff!!! Leo: Mommy. . . . Donald: So nothing else happened while I was gone? Adam: No. Just the drone thing. Chase: Yep, just that drone thing. Donald: Just the drone thing. Ahh. Anybody want to see a slide show? Bree: Ooh! Is it Australia? Donald: No! Ha ha! It's my surveillance cameras that show everybody's movements throughout the entire house. "Huh. I never thought of using my priceless guitar as a hammer." "Hey, what happens if I stick my head in here?" "Now that my hair's big, I can get on all the rides!" "Here we are exploring the deep, dark waters of idiocy." Ha ha ha! Heh... Leo: So... Donald: Uh, so, you're all grounded-- forever! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Transcripts Category:Transcripts